An entrepreneur’s business case for work friends

When I launched my business nearly two decades ago, I’d decamp to my local coffee shop every morning while the sky was pitch black and iron out any issues at my fledgling company. After working from nine until six at my day job, I went straight home to continue working on my startup. It wasn’t always easy to decline happy hour invitations, but I had a greater mission.  Lucky for me, one of my closest college friends was on a similar trajectory of building a business from the ground up. We would commiserate via late night text message, swap intel for first-time bootstrappers, and celebrate together each time one of us hit a new milestone.  Looking back, I recognize how close friendships can be a lifeline for entrepreneurs, who embark on what tends to be a solo journey. Founders often fight the overwhelming demands of running a business by pairing down their lives and reducing energy spent on non-work activities. But successful entrepreneurship also requires balance. Here are three reasons why friendship is critical for all entrepreneurs and business leaders to embrace.  Friends provide positive distractions Workplace wellbeing has declined over the past several decades and people today report lower mental health levels overall. As Adam Grant puts it, people are “languishing.”  For entrepreneurs, these negative feelings can be intensified by the difficulty of completely disconnecting from work. Friends can help entrepreneurs fully disconnect by providing much-needed distraction. Despite its negative connotation, distraction is vital for letting our brains recover. When I first launched my company, I sometimes felt like I had to be doing something all the time. But experience has afforded the wisdom of realizing the benefits of rest. Still, there are times when the demands of business catch up with me and I put off disconnecting. That’s where buddies can come in—like my friend Steven, who recently convinced me to attend a concert rather than pulling another late night. The next day, I returned to the office refreshed and motivated.  Friends can reduce self-doubt and boost self-esteem As a business owner, each day entails countless decisions. Self-doubt is kryptonite for entrepreneurs, derailing daily calls that propel business forward.   In their book, entrepreneurs and authors Stacey Abrams and Lara Hodgson write, “Sometimes what’s holding you back is not a glass ceiling, but rather a sticky floor. Don’t let your self-doubt overcome you.” Good friends help me to overcome bouts of self-doubt by replenishing my self-esteem. I think about my friends—smart, ambitious people who share many of the same values—and consider it a sign that I must be pretty decent in order to merit their friendship. Decades of research have shown that close friendships boost self-esteem and vice versa. Groucho Marx once joked: “I don’t want to belong to any club that will accept me as a member.” I feel the opposite. I am proud to belong to my club, my friend group, that values and accepts me as a member. Friends give you perspective Just as entrepreneurs benefit from advisers, a founder’s friends can help them manage the emotional and social challenges of entrepreneurship. When the stress of running a business becomes overwhelming, friends can offer a grounding perspective, reminding you of the broader picture in both business and life. What’s more, friendship can literally change the way we respond to stress. Studies show that blood pressure reactivity is lower when people talk to a supportive friend. When participants complete a tough task with a friend by their side, their heart rate reactivity is lower, too.  Entrepreneurship isn’t for the faint of heart. Sometimes, it can feel like an endless succession of challenges. Friends can’t eliminate the hills, but they can make the climbs feel less taxing and a lot more enjoyable.