5 mistakes you might be making in a negotiation 

I have spent the past two decades on stages around the world as an auctioneer at the world’s top fundraisers and galas. I spend most nights negotiating with audience members to buy things at a higher price than they expect to pay when they walk in the room—it’s how I raise record funds for charities across the globe. Now, as the Founder and CEO of the Lydia Fenet Agency, I train auctioneers in the art of negotiation—this and my years of onstage experience have helped me pinpoint five tips to avoid the most common mistakes most people make, ensuring you walk out of every negotiation confident you got everything you wanted, and more. Mistake #1: Entering with the wrong mindset Many people derail a negotiation before they walk into the room by having the wrong mindset to begin with. To nail a negotiation, remember that a negotiation is a conversation, not a battle. If you keep your attitude relaxed and treat every talking point as part of a larger conversation, you will always maintain control of the conversation. Leave emotion out of negotiation. It isn’t personal, it’s business. Mistake #2: Not planning your high-medium-low It is imperative that you have guardrails in place before you walk into a negotiation, so that you don’t lose your way if the person across the table is a more experienced negotiator. Write down your high-medium-low before you walk into a negotiation. High is your best-case scenario; you would walk out of this negotiation and buy yourself a bottle of champagne to drink when you get home. Medium is a strong result where you would leave the room satisfied with the result. Low is the bottom. No matter what happens in the room, you will walk away before you go any lower than this offer. Mistake #3: Not planning the negotiation in advance Want to lose a negotiation? Walk in thinking that things will go exactly as planned. To win a negotiation you need to play out as many different scenarios as possible before you sit down, so you are prepared for any angle. Gather your friends, colleagues, and that one friend who should have been a litigator. Explain what you are negotiating, and then have them fire questions at you. The more you prepare for different scenarios, the better the chance you walk out with what you want. Mistake #4: Not listening or asking questions Everything you need to know about the person across the table can be gleaned from listening to what they say in the first couple of minutes of the negotiation. Ask leading questions that help determine exactly what they are looking for and then use that information to weave a story about how your product/service will help them accomplish their goals. The more you seem like you are there to help someone else succeed, the more successful you will be in your negotiation.  Mistake #5: Thinking only about what you want If you approach a negotiation with the goal of not only getting what you want, but ensuring the person across from you feels good about the negotiation, you will find that you have an ally in that person moving forward. To accomplish this, you might need to get creative about what you are willing to offer. Walk in with a short list of additional things you could add to the negotiation that might not be something that was discussed, or something the other person would know about unless you suggested it. By widening the scope of the negotiation, everyone can feel like a success when they shake hands at the end of the deal.